Funny Peace and Stress Jokes

Here are some very funny stress jokes.

Last week a friend of mine went to a seminar called Stress and Disease by an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress that I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this. On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested. Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, 'I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company.'

Here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts: Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air. No one knows your secret place. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world". The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water... There now... feeling better?


Here are some sexy funny peace jokes.

If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
The swallow.

Killing for peace is like fucking for virginity.


Here are some Funny Peace Bumper Stickers


Bread Not Bombs Flour Power - It’s the Yeast We Can Do

Don’t Tolerate Intolerance: It’s the ONLY Acceptable Way

I’d Give My Right Arm for No Arms